Eleanor (overheard praying with Gramma): 

Watch over our loved ones even if they're being mean and aren't nice and keep them in our hearts. Amen. 

Eleanor:

YUCK! This banana is yucky! Why didn't you tell me you bought it at the store?

Me:

...Because I get all of our bananas at the store. There are no banana trees in Klamath Falls. 

Eleanor:

Sylvia's my favorite sister. Maybe everyday I won't be mean to her after all. 

Evan (at dinner, telling how his day was):

We took fourteen guns out to the range to test. 

Sylvia:

Woah-woah-woah-woah-woah. Wait a minute. You have guns? 

Eleanor: 

Uh, yeah. He makes them. 

Sylvia:

Oh yeah. I knew that. 

Eleanor (sitting down with me to watch the debate):

So who's going to be the boss of our town?

Me: 

Who do you think should be the boss? 

Eleanor: (points to Hillary)

Me: Yep. I think she should be the boss of our town, too. 

Me: 

If I have to tell you one more time to put on your shoes, I am going to pick you up and carry you to the car and take you home and put you in your room for the rest of the night. 

Eleanor (to Sylvia): 

I'm sorry. I'm not going to see you for a very long time. 

Eleanor (Laying with Eleanor in Clem's room, waiting for Clem to come to bed):

If you fart in here he won't like it. 

(At Wal-Mart trying to find a particular powder for Gramma Gladys): 

Me: I can't find it anywhere. I find the baby powder in the baby aisle but I can't find the old lady aisle. 

Eleanor: I know where it is. I've been here before with Gramma Karen. 

(Walks around the corner. Grabs a box of condoms off the shelf). 

Here it is. I told you I'd been here before with Gramma. 

Me: No, this is not the old lady aisle. And I don't think Gramma needs those. But thank you. 

Eleanor:

Will you go get the other dress from the living room?

Sylvia:

No. 

Eleanor:

I need you to be my little helper and go get it. 

Sylvia: 

Okay. 

Sylvia: Mom, will you lay with me?

Me: I need to go put Eleanor and Clem to bed, too. 

Sylvia: If you lay with me I'll buy you a pony. When I'm bigger. 

Me: A pony! How long do I have to lay with you to get a pony?!? 

Sylvia: Five minutes. With flappy wings. Blue ones. A big one. But not too big. 

Me: Okay. I'm holding you to that, though.