Clem (after having been accused of having a girlfriend by Kadin):
I do have a girlfriend.  For reals.

Me: Is she in your class at camp?

Clem: Yes

Me: What makes her your girlfriend?

Clem: She just is.

Me: Why is she your girlfriend?

Clem: Because she's nice to me.

Me: Does she know she's your girlfriend?

Clem: No.